Message from God

so when I checked my business page on facebook today I did my daily message from God. It's crazy how on spot these things are on some days. and I am completely forgiving myself along with so many others and for once in my life I am actually starting to realize how many years ago I should have done this. but you live and you learn and as bad as some spots have been in my life I wouldn't change anything about it because it wouldn't have helped me become who I am now & it wouldn't have given me my wonderful children. 

that it is time to finally forgive yourself.
	You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about.

hillcrest

an elevator ride down a floor = scary for me
2 doughnuts & a milk for the kids = $3.52
keeping the kids quiet while in the ICU waiting room = priceless 

muffins

When you look at the clock & it says 530am then you proceed to look at your dog and ask him "really, you really need to go out now?" so I get up, put on a sweatshirt (because let's face it, 530am I'm gonna be cold outside whether it is or not) walk into the living room & see my 3 year old wide awake staring at the tv. "HI MOMMY!! YOU SEE I'M WIDE AWAKE!!" yes baby I do see that but lets not scream because Xavier is still sleeping and I would like it to stay that way. so the dog goes out & I make the crazy suggestion of going back to bed with me so we can get some more sleep. "Let's go to the pantry momma."
so off to the pantry we go. can I have this, no it's way to early for candy. you can have a lemon mini muffin or some little doughnuts.(I know what the heck is the difference in just feeding her tootsie rolls at quarter to six in the morning) then mommy gets the genius idea to say or we could make blueberry muffins. and of course what does she opt for, yep not even 6am & we are making muffins. and as i started kicking myself in the butt for even making the suggestion so early in the morning I stopped & thought this is actually pretty nice. Some mommy & baby girl  big kid time. just the 2 of us making muffins. no interruptions from the little man, no interruptions from her being to big or to cool to bake with her mommy,no interruptions with having to rush out the door to get some where. so as much as I thought I would have rather went back to bed I am quite happy I gave her the option to make muffins instead.

Fable of the Hedgehog

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The hedgehogs, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way, they covered and protected themselves; but, the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other. 

After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen.So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.Wisely, they decided to go back to being together.This way they learned to live with the little wounds that were caused by the close relationship with their companion, but the most important part of it, was the heat that came from the others. This way they were able to survive. Therefore: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but the best is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

cuteness from today

I was explaining to Serenity yesterday about going to yankee lake while in ohio. Well she says to me today, "oh no mom. we forgot to go watch the trains play in the mud with aunt heaven!"

at least she got the part about aunt heaven being there & the mud right :)

Car ride home from nana's tonight (it's about 930ish) Serenity puts her window down
me: Serenity put your window up. it's to late to have it down.
serenity: but mom you know I like to have my window down to see stuff.
me: but it's to dark you can't see anything anyway.
serenity:but it's ok to have it down mom. I'm buckled up I'm not gonna blow out the window or anything
what do you say to that? all i could say was ok baby, just be careful :)

Serenity made a HUGE wishlist for santa today while at her new favorite store. everything she saw she said I'm gonna tell santa I want this, and this and this and this and this and ........
you get the idea. I would say santa will be doing some shopping at horsetown

hello blog,goodbye facebook

It's been on my mind for a while to get rid of my facebook account but I haven't because then how do all of our family & friends stay up to date with pictures and stories of the kids. I've thrown around the idea of a blog but that's all I've done is throw it around. well today is the day that the first step is taken. This is the blog & the facebook page will shortly become no longer. I will still have my business page there so please be sure to like it :) and if you need to reach me I still have a cellphone & an email address.
pure romance by starr